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  • Writer's pictureThe Matchmaker

When A First Date Goes Wrong

Can you redeem yourself if a first date goes poorly? What if there was chemistry but you were nervous? Or what if you  had a bad day which bled into the date? Just because that first date doesn't go as planned, it is no indication there isn't a future. It's also not an indication that there is anything wrong with you or with your match. History is filled with stories of first dates gone wrong and the couple in questions have gone on to live happily ever after.

With a matchmaker on your side, interventions are possible. A matchmaker can explain to your date why you made the mistakes you did and if there was any misinterpretation.

Step one is to figure out what went wrong and why.

If nerves are the culprit, the first step is to let your date know and be honest about it. Explain why you were nervous but let them know you also had a great time getting to know them.

Chances are they were also nervous as nerves feed off of each other. Anxiety can suppress your personality and since it takes more than one date to get to know a person, your date may be happy to try again. It takes courage to reach out to a date in those circumstances and offer an explanation or apologize.

Step Two is to communicate

If you can effectively communicate what happened and what you would like to see happen in the future, this could get your relationship back on track.

Step Three is to try again

Make sure you have healthy expectations and that you're not expecting too much on a first date. Too much expectation will increase pressure on yourself and your date - and this seldom ends well. Communicate and relax. On the second date, try to manage your nervous energy and realize that dates should be fun.

A matchmaker can be effective in helping their clients communicate. Matchmakers who can step in can also be used as a preventative measure, to ward off future problems.

If you don't make it to date two, know that it was just not meant to be with that person and learn from the experience. A matchmaker can coach you through it to a future of successful dating.

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