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  • Writer's pictureThe Matchmaker

Desperate Is Not Attractive

Desperate Is Not Attractive

One of the biggest turnoffs for both single men and women are those who come off as desperate. Desperate is not attractive. Desperate says "I have no self-worth. Love me because I am scared no one else with and am scared of being alone." instead of saying, “I love me for who I am and so should you."

Please marry me or I will die alone is not a good look. No emotionally healthy person wants to be or is capable of being someone else's savior. Emotionally healthy, well-adjusted, and self-confident people, are repelled by the behaviors both conscious and sub-conscious.

There are some who are attracted to desperation. These other, unhealthy people – desperate people, codependent people, and predators are exactly the wrong type of people.

Other desperate people will be attracted to you because they figure they have a shot with you and codependent people will be attracted to you because they are sure they can fix you and save you. Needless to say, those types of relationships generally end badly. Predators will be attracted to you because they know that in your desperation you will overlook red flags that would scare off healthier, more confident people.

Ultimately, desperation leads to bad and rash decisions. It will lead you to date or even marry people who are wrong for you and, worse, could mean taking advantage of you - sexually and/or financially. It also leads to other bad decisions like settling. Out of desperation, you will settle for less than what they really desire or deserve.

Many people are better off single than in a bad relationship.

Learn to enjoy being single. And when you are emotionally healthy enough for a real relationship a matchmaker can be a great decision. Using a matchmaker and going a VIP Matchmaking event is a safe way to meet a potential match while being under the guidance of someone who knows desperation and dispels it.  

Clients of matchmakers are confidant and happy people who continue to learn and grow

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