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  • Writer's pictureThe Matchmaker

Dating Over 50

According to estimates, there are over 9,000 online dating sites worldwide, and over 3000 in the US alone - that is not including popular apps like Tinder and Bumble.

It wasn't that long ago that going online to find a date was considered desperate and the chosen path of those who couldn't find a relationship the "regular" way.

For millennials, in particular, it is the first line of defense, so to speak and as normal as getting up and going to work in the morning. 

In the United States, online dating is the second most common way for couples to meet. First is being introduced through friends. It is worth noting that the first common way is still the tried and true face to face meeting - we'll come back to that in a moment.

For those aged 50 or over, finding a relationship online can be complicated because you aren't looking for the same things as when you were younger. You know who you are now, what works and what doesn't work. 

That said, you might think filters would allow you to really fine-tune what you're looking for online. However, most people put in the same "requirements" and this leads to failure. An example is the average desired age, physical requirements, location, etc...  researchers in the UK recently calculated the odds of finding a compatible partner is 1 in 562 with those parameters. It actually gets worse the more specific you are with your dealbreakers and requirements.

Each filter you add diminishes your chances of finding a compatible partner even further... this is the OPPOSITE of matchmaking and matchmaking events... 

Think about before online dating existed, finding a compatible fit was far less surgical. When you met someone in real life, and if you enjoyed their company you would decide to go on another date and you feel the spark immediately or not. This is all taken away online when the filters or a sentence in a profile doesn't appeal.

That said, you are not your profile and a profile is not a person. Profiles scratch the surface of  who you are and can't really capture the full extent of you as a person. People often sell themselves short on their profiles. That is another reason leaving it to a professional matchmaker to compile your profile is an investment that reaps rewards. Online, profiles can also be a total misrepresentation of someone who is not as honest and trying to put forth a false image of themselves just to garner that first date.

Most dating sites also use algorithms and there is  no evidence or research that computer-generated algorithms really work. It is is false advertising on the part of the online dating industry. Most notably a large-scale 2012 study published by the Association for Psychological Science, is that matching algorithms simply do not work. What does work is a matchmaker spotting a potential match for you, screening them in-person and bringing them to meet you at an event. 

One of the most dangerous aspects of online dating over 50 is the thought that a better option is just a click or swipe away. Giving your brain so many options negates the necessary time it takes to form a connection with someone you are just beginning to know  to already moving on to the imaginary and elusive next best option. 

Apps and Online dating are cheap. So it isn't surprising that budget-conscious consumers have flocked to these apps and sites. Unfortunately, it exposes them to one of the other perils of online dating: the constant suggestion that there is always something better just around the corner, or worse, people looking for non-monogamous lasting relationships or those taking advantage of you.

In addition, with little to no financial requirement, online sites/apps attract a greater proportion of people who are not really committed to finding a genuine relationship.

Matchmaking events may cost substantially more than online dating/apps but the old adage goes: You get what you pay for. We take care of the profile, we put your best foot forward, we cull the matches so all you have to do is show up the day of the event and make the tough decision on which of your matches you truly spark with. 

If the number one way of meeting a match is still that face to face meeting, then let our Matchmaking events serve as your friends. Think of it as your friend throwing you a party and in that laid-back, albeit festive atmosphere you just might find your perfect match. 

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